Yall dun hit rite on wanna my leest favritist subjecks an thets how sum folks can massacree the Merican langwaj. Now I haint wun ta be a braggin er nuthin but Ise rite proud ta have me a forth grayd edgykashun an I no thet sum haint bin thet luckie an all. But itz a mitey fine thing ya axt heer an I doan holt wif nobuddy mezzin up whut thair sain cuz thay doan uze gud grammarly stuff. Jez doan holt wiffit tall. I allus duz my absulutest bez job when Ima tockin er ritin senz commukatin iz reel impotent.

CLETUS

(BTW--Cletus isn't a buffoon or a "shitkicker"....just a nice, well meaning, friendly, fellow who fell through the cracks in this country.......Spaw)