Gfs, do you consider it "dishonest" to refer to people in terms you know they are comfortable with, in place of terms you've been used to, or just have an inclination to use?

I generally go by my middle name, simply because my first name is unusual and tends to be confusing and hard for people to remember correctly. Awhile back, an older man in management discovered my first name in the records, approached me with a smarmy smile, and addressed me with a slowly drawled rendition of it. I told him, I believe very politely, that I preferred use of my middle name. The "smile" got nastier, and the use of my first name got more emphatic. I took a measure of comfort in the fact that he treated almost everyone like shit, not just me.