OK, here's my transcription. Notice there are a few gaps. Corrections and completions are welcome.


MY GASOLINE AUTOMOBILE
As sung by Janet Klein with piano accompaniment by Brad Kay on YouTube

VERSE 1: I'm a living exponent of all that is new, from airships to automobiles.
Although I'll confess on the quiet to you, the auto to me most appeals.
I revel in sporting and breaking the law. The tempers of mothers I rile.
I love the temptation and exhilaration of racing each minute a mile.

CHORUS 1: For I'm a chauffeur and a great connoisseur in the handling of automobiles.
Each day in my motor, I peel off a voter and mash him up under my wheels.
I scare all the folks who go riding with me, as round the sharp corners I reel.
I ... load, I just love to explode in my gasoline automobile,
My gasoline automobile.

VERSE 2: When I put on my goggles and go for a spin, pedestrians holler and scoot.
When horses are frightened, I ... grin and then on my squawker I toot.
I ... when I'm speeding down ... Street. I honk and I wake ev'ryone up.
I love to entangle and purposely mangle some rich lady's favorite pup.

CHORUS 2: For I'm an inventor and experimenter of ev'ry newfangled machine.
I'm always in clover when friends are run over. My record today is thirteen.
The shriek of my victim is music to me. No sympathy for him I feel.
I'm thrilled with delight when I kill him outright in my gasoline automobile,
My gasoline automobile.


[This is from a comic opera "The Maid and the Mummy" (1904), music by Robert Hood Bowers (1877—1941), book and lyrics by Richard Carle, produced at the Garrick Theatre, Chicago, Illinois, on 30 May 1904, and subsequently at the New York Theatre, New York, on 25 July 1904. MIDI files for this and other songs in this show (and many other shows) can be found on Colin M. Johnson's "Victorian and Edwardian Light Operas" web page (or Click to play MY GASOLINE AUTOMOBILE).]