Taconius, you are right, that is breathtakingly awful.
'Patches' was madly popular when I was a kid at Girl Scout camp; I did not realize it was a (relatively) contemporary 'pop' song (didn't listen to the radio) but it was ultimately banned by the leaders, as was 'Brandy'--not 'Brandy, you're a fine girl' etc. but one that with a chorus 'Brandy, o-oh Brandy, Brandy my own' about 'a little Bahama girl' who 'had a baby just for me' and 'baby died and Brandy cried, cried so hard she was soon to die' and just typing this really causes me to identify with those Girl Scout leaders.
And Steve, I have only heard the Country Western Supersong ending 'in a seaside resort called Bray' sung by an Irish singer.