"a fine cure for most of the above is surely an outing, from the RIV, to the beautiful Lancashire coastline...by bike, maybe..."

What, both SO'P's re-Iv ennui and the festering sores plus fleshy barnacles caused by my secret-lab experimental genetic virus?
Hmm, maybe so WAV.. But Lancashire? Well it's OK for cheese and for scallies, but it's not a sea cure now is it?