An Englishman in Rome
Well I felt like a pot of tea,
but in Rome they just don't make it.
So I thought I'd have a coffee,
and I'd drink it in the street.
Well the coffee wasn't bad at all,
but that sweet - I couldn't take it
it tasted most peculiar,
and it wasn't nice to eat.
So I went up to the Johnnie
who was standing at the bar,
and I said "Now my good fellow,
your coffee's pretty fair
But that morsel that you gave me,
it tasted horrible and blubbery
and I had a job to swallow it,
it tasted positively rubbery."
Well he rattled off some nonsense,
and I couldn't catch it all
He said "Not for the bambinos"
and "It stops you very well"
And he said that he was sorry,
but he clearly didn't understand,
for a box of those damn sweeties -
he thrust it in my hand.
So now I'm heading back again,
to my home and family,
and I've had a jolly holiday
to buck me up you see.
And I've got a present for the wife,
and I saved myself some bother,
for those sweeties from the coffee shop -
I'll give them to her mother.