To avoid these issues I always try to be the worst musician in any given group. It's not all that hard, really.
I recently realized that not only can I not tell from hand positions what key a song is in, I often can't hear it either. Through this, I have developed my own style of playing, which someone described as a bit like an assortment of beer bottles stacked on the lid of a broken washing machine in spin cycle. I also try to play very loudly and bump into other people's instruments, which allows me plenty of playing space.