The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #2967116
Posted By: Amos
17-Aug-10 - 10:39 AM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From Wired:

Best of all, the brand-new science of internet psychology disposes with the rigorously boring standards of the DSM-IV in favor of a method of diagnosis that can be performed entirely over the internet without the voluntary participation or even knowledge of the patient. Simply order a copy of my Internet Pathology Diagnosis Manual ($70), and you can perform easy, quick diagnoses like the following:

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Forum-Stalking Axis
Patient exhibits two or more of the following symptoms for a period of more than two postings:

* Keeps replying to you on a public forum even though you've told them you're not going to respond to them.

* Brings up something you said months ago, as if it has anything to do with anything.

* E-mails you after you e-mailed them telling them not to e-mail you.

* Is a complete jerk.

Narcissistic Disorder
Patient exhibits two or more of the following symptoms:

* Thinks they're right all the time.

* Doesn't shut up even though they're obviously wrong and you proved it.

* Is a complete jerk.

Furthermore, your internet psychology degree entitles you to present a diagnosis of Aspberger syndrome without any formal analysis because you can just tell, OK? You've got a degree!

Best of all, an interent psychology degree allows you to think up and register entirely new disorders for the completely reasonable price of $100 (plus a $20-a-year renewal fee). Tired of listening to people saying how cool Firefly was when Stargate: Atlantis was much better and also it didn't get cancelled after one season, just saying? Just diagnose them with Whedon Derangement Syndrome and you can dismiss anything they say as the product of a diseased mind.

Why settle for being right when you can get a degree in being right? Register with the Westbester University College of Internet Psychology and start the enrichment process.

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