Not as kinky as the title sounds--

From Indiana University: Click for PDF file of sheet music.


I'M IN LOVE WITH THE MOTHER OF MY BEST GIRL
Words, Gus Kahn. Music, Egbert Van Alstyne.
New York & Detroit: Jerome H. Remick & Co., 1913.

1. I've a secret I would like to tell to you,
Only you,
Just to you.
It's about a girl with tender eyes of blue.
Her love for me is fond and true.
Tho' we hug and kiss, we've never been engaged,
She and I,
She and I.
For I've been told
That I'm too old,
And here's another reason why:

CHORUS: I'm in love with the mother of my best girl.
Her mother is in love with me.
Of course I love the girl,
This sweet and precious pearl.
Still, her mother's kisses set my heart awhirl.
If I had to choose between the two I love,
I'd lead a most unhappy life,
For the girl, you see,
Is only three,
And the mother of my girl's my wife.

2. Sometimes with my little girlie on my knee,
In my dreams,
Idle dreams,
Comes a lover bold to steal her heart from me,
And she's forgotten me, it seems.
It may bring me pain to think she may forget,
But I know,
Yes, I know,
Her mother dear,
Will still be near.
I'll always be her one best beau.