And the sad thing is, Bjarne, that many a 'proper' translation is every bit as clunky as your joke version.

Thanks to my complete inability to produce a comment with no typo, there's a silly mistake in the metrical paraphrase above: "Sliver tones to calm the suff'rings" should of course be "Silver tones to calm the suff'rings". Oops. My apologies to Mr Rellstab for being an eejit.