Disturbing reports are surfacing on the Net that Shane McBride may have met with a fatal accident. It all began with a post by Rapaire a couple of hours ago. Further reports are coming in as I type. Here is all that we know at this point, copied and pasted from the Mother of all BS Threads for the benefit of those who never open it, but who would want to know:

(Note that the below posts appear with the most recent at the top.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Constable Jack McColl, O.P.P.
Date: 22 Aug 10 - 01:11 PM

What are we gonna do for laughs now? Being a member of the Sudbury O.P.P. I can vouch for the fact that there is a strange sense of loss haunting the rank and file today all across North Ontario, a sense that things will never really be the same. Who will entertain us by committing unforgettably stupid and poorly planned infractions of the law such as the famous Beer Store robbery with the stolen school bus or the famed fork lift truck getaway chase? Who else would even attempt such things? And if so, who could pull them off in such an incompetent and unique manner?

There are only a few rewards to the tough job of being a cop in North Ontario. One of them was the joy of hauling Shane McBride in, whining and carrying on, after yet another botched misdemeanour, and hearing the cheers and catcalls from the prison inmates and staff as Shane returned once again to his second home...durance vile.

I tell you, it's a funereal atmosphere around here. A hush has fallen over the place. We are discussing whether to lower the station flags to halfmast. Or quartermast possibly. Whatever would seem most fitting.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Post - Top - Forum Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Aug 10 - 12:57 PM

2. Someone may write the tune "The Night McBride Died". Got a ring to it.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Post - Top - Forum Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapaire
Date: 22 Aug 10 - 12:52 PM

Let us enumerate the good he did, and let the evil be forgotten:

1. He never reproduced.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Post - Top - Forum Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 10 - 12:36 PM

Your eloquence, Rapaire, well befits the gravity of this unspeakably tragic occasion! Hosers all over Canada will no doubt shed a tear or two in their beer at the thought of Shane's passing. His brother Don will be inconsolable, devastated with regret over the harsh words he recently hurled at his baby brother, and now unable to make them good. The entire town of Blind River will be cast under a pall of gloom such as enveloped the island of Sumatra following the eruption at Krakatoa in 1883. Millions will mourn! People will, decades from now, say, "I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news that Shane McBride had died."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Post - Top - Forum Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapaire
Date: 22 Aug 10 - 12:24 PM

Oh, if only Shame were still alive! The tragedy, the horror of his leaving will be with us for ages to come! Stumbling, drunk, into a garbage compactor and ending up in a dump, while appropriate, is not my idea of a good way to go. His last words still ring in our ears and will ring for all Eternity: "What the flippin' fli...?"

Alas, poor Shame. I knew him, Little Hawk. A fellow who was an infinite jest. Why, he would have stabbed me in the back a thousand times had he but the courage! And now he has come to this...we need not ask how long he will lay in the earth ere he rot, for tho' he was indeed rotten he was also thoroughly pickled all the time, and so we have his rot preserved in this half-meter cube. Let us close the book on this poor excuse, this dullard, this grown babe, and remember only the good he did, if any.