"Folk musicians gathering in kitchens and homes and pubs tend to want to play with each other and not with or for ordinary folk.......etc etc"

Just because you had a bad experience surely you can't take a general sweep at all such gatherings! As well as playing in local pubs which has unrestricted and free attendance for all performers and listeners alike, we do also play in each other's houses and just as often half the people there are our more regular listeners as well as performers. I have never heard anyone being vetted over their political beliefs, social standing or whatever else.