Shantyjohn
It's a song around this area, recorded some time in the early 1970s from an elderly local man, now long dead, who had a couple of similar ones, including The Farting Competition.
The little I remember begins:
This forty-five years I've been buggered,
With all kinds of horrible pains,
-------
From rupture to varicose veins

And ends:
My life it is spent in the shite-house,
Or roaring and groaning in bed,
And my friends say, when quietly passing,
It's time that that poor whore was dead.

Will sort out my recording of it and put up a transcription of the text - when I get time.
Jim Carroll