This song has become a popular jazz standard.

Lyrics copied from Frank Loesser by Thomas Laurence Riis (New Haven: Yale University Press, 2008), page 97:


IF I WERE A BELL
Words and music by Frank Loesser.
New York : Edwin H. Morris & Company, Inc., ©1950.
From "Guys and Dolls"

Ask me how do I feel. Ask me now that we're cozy and clinging.
Well, sir, all I can say is, if I were a bell, I'd be ringing.
From the moment we kissed tonight,
That's the way I've just got to behave.
Boy, if I were a lamp, I'd light,
And if I were a banner, I'd wave.
Ask me how do I feel, little me with my quiet upbringing.
Well, sir, all I can say is, if I were a gate, I'd be swinging,
And if I were a watch, I'd start popping my spring,
Of if I were a bell, I'd go, "Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding."

Ask me how do I feel from this chemistry lesson I'm learning.
Well, sir, all I can say is, if I were a bridge, I'd be burning.
Yes, I knew my morale would crack
From the wonderful way that you looked.
Boy, if I were a duck, I'd quack,
Or if I were a goose, I'd be cooked.
Ask me how do I feel. Ask me now that we're fondly caressing.
Pal, if I were a salad, I know I'd be splashing my dressing.
Ask me how to describe this whole beautiful thing.
Well, if I were a bell, I'd go, "Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding."