Now here's Homer & Jethro's parody. Note that this parody is relatively free of the grotesque (and sometimes misogynistic) images of most of their parodies.

This song can be heard at WFMU's Beware of the Blog.


IF I WERE A BELL
As sung by Homer & Jethro

Ask me how do I feel. Ask me now that we're pickin' an' a-singin'.
Well now, all I can say is, if I were a bell, I'd be ringin'.
When we're kissin', there is no doubt
You found out what it's all about.
I can tell you used to play
The bugle in the Girl Scouts.
Ask me how do I feel. It'll be with my line of baloney.
Well, if I were a twin, I'd be givin' myself a Toni.*
And if I was a fiddle, I'd be snappin' a string,
Or if I were a bell, I'd go, "Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding."

Ask me how do I feel. Ask me now that we're cozy an' a-clingin'.
Well now, all I can say is, if I had a voice, I'd be singin'.
Well, if I were a fuse, I'd blow,
Or if I were a rooster, I'd crow.
When you're smilin' at me, my dear,
I feel like I'm strippin' a gear.
Ask me how do feel. Ask me now that we're huggin' an' a-kissin'.
Well, if I had a motor, I know that it would be missin'.
And if I was a bee, I'd be bendin' my sting,
And if I was a bell, I'd go, "Ding, dong, ding, dong,
Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding."


[* "Toni" was a popular brand of home-perm kit. They used twins in their advertising; their slogan was "Which twin has the Toni?" The British equivalent was "Twink" but I think it lacked any association with twins.]