"Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. I've become a prostitute."
"You've become WHAT?"
"A prostitute, father."
"Praise the Lord! I thought at first you said a Protestant."

*

A graduate student came around a blind corner in the cafeteria and nearly collided with his professor. "My God!" said the student, "I nearly hit you." "I told you not to call me that in public," said the professor.