I bought a ticket in the lottery,
I was sure I wouldn't win
But I thought that just this one time
My good luck might be in.
And I won, yes I won
My time had come at last.
As I walked up to receive my prize,
My heart was beating fast.

And the man in the office said,
"I know you've won the prize
But son, I think if I were you
I'd seriously think twice"
But I said "No", I said "No,
It's a special day for me
No matter what I stand to win,
It's my precious victory."

And they took me to a private room,
And laid me on a bed
And I closed my eyes and dreamed a while
And I woke, and someone said
"Now it's best you get dressed,
Maybe we've overdone the size"
And I looked there in the mirror,
I could hardly believe my eyes.

So I walk around so nonchalant,
As if I didn't care
And all the ladies giggle
While all the fellows stare
And my back's about to crack,
And this sweater's far too tight
And I don't know which is bigger,
The left one or the right.

And the moral of this story,
Don't do what I have done,
And always read the small print
When you're putting money on
As for me, here's my plea,
Won't you please avert your eyes,
From this poor bloke in the corner
Who once won the booby prize.