The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #2978049
Posted By: Donuel
01-Sep-10 - 07:56 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
{this was part of an on going satire that opens the window on the inner workings and hypocrisy of a ficticious tea party profiteer}

[previously posted]
Getting a new business off the ground is like doing cardio excercise in hell, its exhasusting. I'm using contractors for for silk screening, bottling jobs and repackaging a new line of tasers. It is like juggling cats and dogs. Using Mexican contractors I can remain at a break even point until sales take off in October.

It really is hard work monitoring the quality, cost and efficiency of the movement and storage of merchandise, while maintaining the integrity of logistical operations. Promoting merchandise through the logistical marketing, display, advertising and shipping of said merchandise is like a delicate ballet.

I'm selling Tea Party paraphenalia such as T shirts, beverages, devices and signs (but signs are banned at the coming Beck rally).
Mostly the signs are the same ol junk but the Obama Hitler and Joker signs have red LED lights for eyes. The T shirts include Sic Sempre Tyranis and "with the blood of Patriots" quotes but my fav is "Its A Choice-Not A Child DEPORT ANCHOR BABIES!"
IT turns out that I can't sell any Palin Tea Shirts since her lawyers notified me that they get 100% of any and all sales of T shirts that have her image or name. Ibid for Beck.

I am gambling with the Return to Reaganomics signs that shows Reagan as Michelagnelo's God reaching out and sprinkling shiney coins down to Adam and Eve below, but if it catches on, I could introduce more Resurrect Reaganomic signs. There is a rumor of an emerging market for Gingrich kitch but I'll wait for now due to his recent comparison of Muslims to Nazis.

Relabeling bottles of ice tea with individual state labels like Texas Tea or Arizona TEA Party is the most labor intesive of all. Mostly its just a bit of Red Bull with Lipton ice tea.

The fad items are the biggest ticket merchandise that I carry but I had to use a Chinese source.
The package contractor is really expensive but it looks good. It has a picture of Rand Paul and Sharon Angle above "As Seen on TEA V"
and below in LARGE print "Black and Mexican Repellent" and in real small print on the bottom "works on Jews too" The price for this repackaged taser is $79.99. Expensive, but they really spice up displays at rallies.

Rapaire has generously donated some automatic weapons (sans the firing pins) as well as hunting knives on which I engrave "target Obama" on the the stock or handle.
The biggest mark up I have is for the firing pins.

Just in case you have any suitable items for which you will be reimbursed later if sold, let me know.

A new business is like a black hole for all my time but knowing that I am doing food for my country and economy is reward enough.

Exhausted but patrioticaly proud,

anybody here have a good recording of a Tea Party anthem for free I can sell at rallies, to media and online ?


NEW Exclusive products:

Barak Hussein Obama - Worst President EVER

Legalize Obama - Make Kenya the 52nd State

Bush Doctrine Mexicans NOW

Tea Partiers are Strict Constitutionalists so
Change the 1st 2nd 10th 14th and 17th ammendments

Secede, succeed and be freed.

End all Social Justice and Entitlements for the kids

Freedom ain't free - the rich need your money.

Bush had Freedom Zones
Obama has death camps

we are 0 for 3 wars
so win one for the Beckster
nuke IRAN now

Unemployed Democrat = Lazy Drug Fiend

take out Gay Judges

Enforce the ban of the Democrat Communist Party

Kill stem cell research
Clone Reagan.

Bring back our founding father's
Official Christian State Goverment

BP, WALL ST & the Rich



USA still #1 in winning civil wars around the world.

cut off Barney's Frank

Rachel is completely Mad now.

Keith is Oddforaman

MSNBC ... Maniac Sinners Never Believe Christ

FOX ...Freedom OX

The wealthy have suffered long enough
extend their tax cuts forever

Obama talks in Sublimininamal Satanic Incantations

0 for the last 3 wars?
its time to nuke something or someone

Cut wages, exported jobs and paying bail outs
is your cross to bear in this life

Extend wealthy tax cuts to the here-after.

End Medicare now before death panels get you.

Practice your 2nd amdt. remedies
target Obama NOW

Jack Bauer like
White Power
is the Right Power
for you

2012 will be a wreck
its time to Elect
Palin & Beck
what the heck
don't forget
place your bets
on Sarah and Beck.

End the racist NAACP

Glen Beck has the best content of character
and color

social justice was preached by
communist MLK - NOT JESUS

Divide and CONQUER
with religious
racial predjudice,
sexual predjudice
so the ruling class
can divide the spoils.

(oops, Sorry. that one is true)

(there were other parts to this romp but you get the idea.)