This story gives a new twist to the phrase "elective surgery"; I wouldn't have thought politicians needed much help to make bigger boobs.

I wanted to try to write a song in imitation of Venezuela by John Jacob Niles, but I thought how on earth can I parody a song which itself is a sort of pastiche? In the end I realised I'll never get another chance to pair up vuvuzela and Venezuela so here goes.


Elections in Venezuela

She was blowing a vuvuzela,
And wore a badge upon her chest;
She supported Rojas to win the fight,
And do whatever he thought was right,
To win an election in Venezuela,
To win an election in Venezuela.

She bought a beautiful ticket, a ticket of blue,
A beautiful ticket so blue;
To raise funds for her candidate
And to maximise her mammorial state,
To win an election in Venezuela,
To win an election in Venezuela.

And when the electoral raffle, the raffle was drawn,
The raffle it was drawn,
She won the prize, to her surprise,
And her bust it grew, it grew in size,
And she blew a tune on her vuvuzela,
She blew a tune on her vuvuzela.

Gustavo Rojas, alas, didn't win the day,
His election flopped, his support just drifted away;
But as she walked off with her new DD
She said "Cheer up, there'll always be
Another election in Venezuela,
Another election in Venezuela."

Matthew Edwards


Regarding JJ Niles's counter-tenor voice

John Jacob Niles
Claimed to sing in high-mountain styles;
But people still think that
It sounds like more the yelps of a neutered tomcat.