You can hear this recording at YouTube.

A THOUSAND MILES FROM HERE
Written and first recorded by Gene Austin & Roy Bergere, April 5, 1924.
As recorded by Carl Fenton & His Orchestra, April 18, 1924.

1. I got a gal with a ... tin(?)
Had her hair done up in ... pin(?)
She has an awful nerve to want to brush(?)
With hair on her head like a scrubbin' brush.

CHORUS: A thousand miles (a thousand miles),
A thousand miles (a thousand miles),
It is a thousand miles from here.*

2. I had a gal who lived down the lane
People used to say she was insane
She sprinkled goofer dust all around her bed,
Woke up one mornin', found her own self dead. CHORUS

3. I got a gal, weighs a ton.
When the boys seen her they all made fun.
She's so hefty and so stout,
That they had to tip(?) her bed to keep from rolling out.

4. I've got a gal named Imogene.
Don't know why that gal's so lean.
She won't take a bath, not even a scrub,
Afraid she'll slip through the hole in the tub.


* In some repetitions of the chorus, this line changes, but I found the variant lines unintelligible.