1. If you had to say how many words you post up there 'er here in Loonieville what would the percentages look like??? - about this much.

2. Tell us what you know about farm animals??? Blue Clickies perfectly okay... - Cows fart. Pigs don't sweat. Goats will eat anything, including washing off the line and small pieces of jewellery. They also smell. They smell BAAAAD. Actually, sheep say Baa, goats say Maa. Llamas spit and are grumpy bastards. Alpacas and Guanacos are sweeter tempered. Donkeys are intelligent and sweet and bloody minded, 'onery sumsabitches. Gorillas build nests every night to sleep in.

3. And the all important question, In the words of Tom Robbins in "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" , "If a hen and half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half then how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?"... - is this before or after the pickle is a) taken out of the jar and b) eaten?

LTS