1. Whether I spend my time above or below the line depends entirely on what's being served for breakfast in each place. If it's Cream of Wheat above and Denver omelets below, I'm staying below.

2. Farm animals are noisy. I don't currently own any (though I used to own a pot-bellied pig), but plenty of people who live within hearing distance of my place do. If you wanna hear chickens, geese, guineas, peafowl, turkeys, goats, horses, donkeys, cattle and the occasional squealing pig, just drop in and sit on the front porch for an hour or so.

3. You can't kick the seeds out of a dill pickle. Kicking only angers them and makes them hold on more tightly. The best way to get seeds out of a dill pickle is to put the pickle in front of a stereo speaker and turn on some Barry Manilow. The seeds will leave of their own free will after about ten seconds. A one-legged monkey with a wooden leg can be trained to do the job in about an hour.