Will you allow a couple of jokes first?

A line from the film "92 in the Shade":

"I'm so broke, if turkey was ten cents a pound, I couldn't afford a raffle ticket on a jaybird's ass."

From Dick Gregory's autobiography:

"There were so many kids sleeping in one bed, when you got up at night to pee, you had to leave a bookmark so you wouldn't lose your place."

You can go back to being serious now.