"...Johnnie Walker Red Label, that otherwise tastes like kerosene. "

LOL... I once startled people in a movie theater when I shouted "Yes, yes!" at the point in "Mr. Roberts" where he and the doctor are trying to 'make' Scotch, and someone suggested adding a bit of turpentine.
   I had been claiming for several years that cheap Scotch tasted like turpentine!