A buddy of mine was into birds. He got a Lesser Sulphur Crested Cockatoo 6 months old and gave strict orders to everyone never to yell or talk hasrhly near it.

It would climb as high as it could. Climbed up buddy one day, using his ear, hair and scalp as talon holds. Buddy winced pain but did not make any sudden moves or yell. When the bird was at the acme of his climb... yup, it crapped on buddy.

He paid CDN$650 for it in 1978.