It was late in the winter of seventy-five
And there's hardly a man that's now alive
Who remembers the famous date and event
And the pains that poor Nellie underwent.

Nell was a schoolteacher 'way out West
When she decided she liked fucking best
And when she fucked--she fucked for keeps
And stacked her victims in piles and heaps.

Now, it was a standing bet around our town
That there wan't a man to get ol' Nell down
When out of the West by way of Dragass Creek
Came a dirty half-breed by the name of Pete.

Down from the hills came Pisspot Pete
With forty pounds of swingin' meat.
And, when he laid it on O'Leary's bar
I swear it stretched from thar to that.

Now, we all knew poor Nell's fate
But to reneg our bets it was too late
So we arranged to set the till
Over by the shithouse on yonder hill
Where young and old could grab a seat
And watch that halfbreed sink his meat.

Now Nell tried tricks an' many stunts
And shunts unknown to common cunts
But, as she tried her every trick,
That halfbreed reeled out still more prick.

The land was scarred for miles around
Where Nell's white ass had dragged the ground
And we hung her panties on the bar-room door
In mem'ry of the gal who was no more.

First heard no later than 1951/Philly suburbs