You can find a playable recording of this song at SkreemR.org.


I MARRIED THE BOOTLEGGER'S DAUGHTER
Words and music by Frank Crumit.
As recorded by Frank Crumit, June 10, 1925, Victor 19739.

One day just by chance,
At a cabdriver's dance,
A wonderful girlie I found:
A bootlegger's daughter
Who always drank water
Unless there was liquor around.

So I married the bootlegger's daughter,
And really it isn't so bad.
I work all the day,
But it's nothing but play,
Just taking out orders for Dad.
I know that the stuff's full of poison,
But me and my sweetie won't die.
When we want a drink,
We go out to the sink,
The bootlegger's daughter and I.

When I asked her to wed,
"Go to father," she said.
"He's down at the still making gin."
Said he, "It's with joy
That I welcome you, boy.
Just hang up your hat and come in."

So I married the bootlegger's daughter,
And she was a terrible quince.
I kissed her goodnight
Where the moonlight was bright,
And I've been on a jag ever since.
They say that her money is tainted,
Though it ain't quite as taint as they say.
She came with a breath
That would scare you to death,
But Listerine took it away.

So I married the bootlegger's daughter,
And now I'm just rolling in dough.
The way she drinks gin
Is a terrible sin,
But girls will be girls, as you know.
Prohibition's the least of our worries,
Though the whole bloomin' world may go dry.
Her dad made his will
And he left the old still
To the bootlegger's daughter and I.

Oh, hail, hail, the gang's all here.
Mustn't say the naughty word.
Mustn't say the naughty word.

I'm meeting the very best people
And moving in high society.
Tonight the Mexican consul
Is bathing the tonsil
With the bootlegger's daughter and me.