fits up davie
nothin
its no nothin
well i said auld wifie in front of the teacher
YOU CALLED THE TEACHER AN AULD WIFIE?
NO
fit then
well there was this story about a great big kist in the barrons castle,
there was this old wifie, and both her sons knew about the kist, and they said theyd get money from it, but the auld wifie said NO ye must na steal

then the teacher slaped the big book book shut and said "Right you lot tell the whole story in your own words" an he looked right at me ma and i said "well there was this auld wifie"
and he said "right lad well have none of your slap shawed rubbish down here we talk like civilised people"

Aww Davie

(this is sevearly ad libed as its been a good 15 - 17 years since i last heard this, the lady who wrote this is Nancy and she used to live at the top o newton hill on a farm in Wick, her parents were amazing people, as is she)