Mrs. Stein spends her winters in Miami
And she lets her home to tenants while she's gone
And last year she let her small home to some gypsies
With a discount if they'd take care of her lawn

Well, the gypsy king he swore they would be careful
They would mow her lawn and prune her roses too
Yes he swore they would be the best caretakers
Taking care as only gypsies seems to do

That rental was the ruin of her little sweet abode
For they grazed their horses on her lawn and sold her flush comode
And to keep the fireplace going, they tore out her hardwood floor
Mrs. Stein don't rent to gypsies anymore

Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie
Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Mrs. Stein don't rent to gypsies anymore, hey hey

Mrs. Stein forgot that gypsies come in bunches
Like bananas on a green banana tree
They snuggle up to shelter, warmth and comfort
And last year, you know, we had an early freeze

Well, the word had gone out fast to all the gypsies
That the tribe of old King Yanosh had found a home
There were cars from Texas, made in Massachusetts
Gypsies got there from _____, and some from Rome

They were sleeping in the attic, they were sleeping on the stairs
Used the basement as a bathroom, really lent the place an air
And to keep the fireplace going, they tore out her hardwood floor
Mrs. Stein don't rent to gypsies anymore

Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie
Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Mrs. Stein don't rent to gypsies anymore, hey hey

In her living room, they opened up a barre jour
And when the neighbors came to call, they ripped 'em off
With crystal ball, tarot, palmistry and tea leaves
Picking pockets of the ones that came to scoff

Well, the things they did annoyed her irate neighbors
(musical break)
Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie
Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie

You could hear their gypsy violins 'till dawn
For they dragged her Persian carpet to the garden
And they built this rageing campfire in the lawn

There was laughing, dancing, singing, and the sound of tambourines
Some errant neighbors' husbands were discovered at the scene
And they helped to feed the campfire with what looked like hardwood floor
Mrs. Stein don't rent to gypsies anymore, hey hey

Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie
Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Mrs. Stein don't rent to gypsies anymore, hey hey

Then at last one irate neighbor called Miami
(Spoken) "Hello, Mrs. Stein?"
And she told her Mrs. Stein just how things stood
(Spoken) "I hope you've got good insurance, and you're out of beer."
With the gypsy violins and rageing campfire
Gotta wonder where the gypsies found the wood

And perhaps the gypsies read it in the tarot
Or perhaps the gypsies saw it in the stars
But the minute that her jet plane left Miami
They began to load her furniture in cars
(Spoken) "Get the hot tub, the ______ machine, the whips and chains -- unintelligible -- and leave the bidet right where it is)

They regarded household fixtures and their private treasure trove
Ripped up the sink and ice box, the cabinets and the stove
And as one last gypsy gesture, stole the last of hardwood floor
Mrs. Stein don't rent to gypsies anymore, hey hey

Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie
Lie, lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Mrs. Stein don't rent to gypsies anymore, hey