Laval Council Approves Simian Marriage

By I. Kant Beleevitte
Published: September 30, 2010 Quebec

LAVAL — The City Council today passed a measure legalizing Simian marriage, making the city of Laval, Quebec the first jurisdiction below the Arctic Circle to allow such unions. Simian marriage is defined as marriage between consenting apes and monkeys of the age of majority. It is suggested, but not required, that the apes or monkeys be of the same sub-species...that is, a chimp marries a chimp, a baboon marries a baboon, etc., but exceptions to that will be permitted if they obtain a writ of authorization from a local judge.

The bill, which passed by an 11-to-10 vote, may still face obstacles in Canadian law, and among city voters and in the courts, but most advocates of Simian marriage say they expect it to become law all across Canada by early spring next year. Francophone Mayor Isadore Forget (known popularly as "I Forget" to the locals) has said he will sign the bill without hesitation "if someone gives me a drink".

"Today's vote is an important victory not only for the Simian community but for everyone who supports equal rights," said Councilman Remi Le Catastrophe, an independent and the author of the bill.