In the fly infested backwoods bog country in Kent County, New Brunswick we have Littlefoot, but there are a lot of them. Just as elusive as Bigfoot, which we had back before the old growth forests were cut.

When the white man slayed the old growth forests, especially with modern harvesting equipment and clearcutting, Bigfoot had to move north into the Appalachians, specifically The Christmas Mountains of Northumberland County, New Brunswick, thereby displacing the Littlepeople, or elves, who, in turn had to move to the far north of Canada. One jolly old elf, the top shelf elf, even named their new homeland the North Pole after the mountain he lived on in New Brunswick.

Unfortunately, a band of yuppie tree hugging "environmentalists" managed to stop sylviculture in the Christmas Mountains for years. They even blocked roads and tied themselves to trees and such until that fateful day. It was tragic. Millions and millions of cubic metres of timber were destroyed and, sadly, so were many forest flora and fauna... including Bigfoot.

Bigfoot no longer roams free in any of the forests of New Brunswick. They all work for Irving at the paper plant in Dieppe... while the yuppies still claim the chainsaws fell the mountains' timber in three hours. Tragic irony for the tree huggers, but not for our Simian Native Peoples. For them, working for Irving really sucks.