It happened one day in a dilapidated tradin' post on the coast of West Africa. I had took up with this group of hunters and explorers...a few white hunters and their ramblin' gang of black porters, and we had just emerged from a lengthy trek through bush and savannah onto the coast where there was this little harbor and we was pickin' up some supplies and sellin' some ivory.

I felt a sudden call of nature. That happens quite a bit, and if yer in the jungle you just go behind a bush, but I figgered it was time to start learnin' the ways of the "white man" if I was gonna get ahead with these people, so I headed for the loo that was at the back of the tradin' post.

Inside the small and dusty room I found my first porcelain toilet. It was pretty filthy, I must say, and I was not too impressed by the benefits of "civilization" upon seein' it, but I managed to use it successfully anyway. Then it occurred to me that the next thing people do is...they wash up. I turned to the sink, reached for the tap, and........!

Right there before me I seen the most charmin' face I had ever laid eyes on! Two soft brown, close-set eyes twinklin' brightly under heavy brows, a big mouth fulla scary-lookin' teeth, flared nostrils....a picture of scintillatin' beauty that was unforgettable!

It was.....ME!!! Yup, I was lookin' at myself in the first mirror I had ever seen, and I fell in love at first sight.

We have been together ever since that day. Me and myself. On that day I met the one person I can always count on, the one person I can trust to always be lookin' out for me, the one person who has remained faithful through thick and thin.

Our anniversary is comin' up next month on the 15th. I plan to buy myself a bottle of really good whisky and a dozen red roses and celebrate in style, cos this is a love that was written in the stars and emblazoned upon the sands of time, a love that will never die.

(GREAT BIG GRIN!)

- Chongo