While we're at it, why not bring back the filthy white wine called Hirondelle which teenagers used in fruit cups at parties in the late 1960s? It had powerful notes of sodium metabisulphate with a lingering suggestion of witch hazel. There was an equally horrible red called Corrida used for the same purpose.

Does anyone remember a mercifully short-lived beverage produced by Watneys called Biarritz? It achieved the brief distinction of being mentioned in a parody of 'I'm the Urban Spaceman' : 'I'm the Watneys W***er'.

Valmai (Lewes)