Well, as the kid usually starts off the midnight phone call, it's all right, nobody got hurt. Wakana and I are perfectly safe.

The day started out pretty good. We went to breakfast at Shirley's, got the car inspected, went up to register it, went over to Cost-U-Less for dog food, and headed down to visit Shawna in the hospital.

She was terribly happy to see us. They gave us an exam room to visit in. Shawna kept turning circles between me and Wakana and her little stumpy tail wagged and wagged. She obviously wants to go home.

We left there and went up to Movie Queen in Agat for the best milkshakes on the island. Then we headed home. We wanted a nap. Wakana was driving and I had some articles for my class to read on my little computer. As we drove past the golf course however life took a new direction.

Most of the roads here are made of crushed coral. Coral is, of course, mostly calcium carbonate. If you spread something slightly acidic on that surface it develops a slick coating. The nearest equivalent I can think of is black ice.

Coming around the bend the car slipped sideways a little. Wakana lost control and we slid off the road, down the wall and the little trees, and slammed into the telephone pole, shearing it off at ground level. Pictures are on Facebook.

I remember telling her not to hit the brakes as we slid sideways down the road. She heard me. I remember thinking, as the pole loomed in front of us, "Here come the airbags!" Apparently I didn't just think it. Wakana heard me say it. Next thing I know we were stopped, the air was full of dust and and we were struggling to get out of the car. A young serviceman and his wife (or girlfriend) stopped to help us. They called for help and stayed until the police arrived. The EMT's arrived and checked us out. They said the ambulance was on the way but we told them not to bother, we weren't injured.

And we weren't. We were shaken up but OK. I had a small cut with an associated contusion on my shin. Wakana had a seatbelt bruise on her shoulder and was complaining of a pain in her upper back. Other than that we are fine.

As we sat there talking to the police I called the insurance company to report the accident. They told me to get a copy of the police report and bring it in to them within the next 5 days. Not much help there.

An SUV pulled to a stop in front of us and the driver got out with a bottle of water in each hand. It was one of Wakana's co-workers. At the sight of her co-worker Wakana began to cry. She'd been such a trooper up to that point.

Now it really gets weird. I little white Toyota pulled up next to the policemen and the driver spoke with them. Then he came over and introduced himself but I couldn't quite catch his name. I asked if he was from the insurance company and he said he worked with them. He herded us into his car and drove us away. We asked to go home which was only a few miles away but he said we had to go to "home base" to fill out some papers. Home base was up on Hamburger Road, at least 15 miles away, through rush hour traffic. All the way there he sped through the other cars, tailgating and changing lanes while he fiddled with a cell phone and a police scanner. It was a scarier ride than the few milliseconds before hitting the phone pole.

Whne we finally got to home base it turned out that his company was only a body shop that occasionally handled cars for our insurance company. They had already sent a wrecker to pick up our car. We were pissed.

As we stood there trying to figure out the real story the boss got a call from his wrecker. It appeared that another wrecker was there and they were going to take our car. I got on the line with the other wrecker. The boss wanted me to send him away but...

Way back just after the police arrived they had asked me what tow company I wanted to pick up the pieces. I commented that we belonged to an auto club through our insurance company and I wanted that group to pick up the car. That was who was there. I told him he could take the car. The body shop boss was pissed but not as pissed as I was. He kept trying to insinuate that we were responsible for the expense of sending a truck to Talofofo. I told him that we just wanted to go home from the beginning and that his employee had us thinking that he worked for the insurance company. I demanded that they take us home. He was ready to argue some more when Wakana burst into tears and weakly asked to sit somewhere. I settled her in the car we were next to and told the guy that I wanted to take my wife home...NOW!

He caved. His wife and daughter took us home. The woman had never been to Talofofo before so this was a big adventure to her. The little girl sat in the back seat and complained of being tired. She was a kindergarten kid but she was not in a car seat. The mother talked about different accidents she'd been in and none of them were her fault.

We finally got home and showered the airbag dust off our bodies, had leftovers for supper and now we are headed for bed.

It's been a long day.