An american rancher visits his irish farmer cousin. He asks "How big a place have you got here?"
The irishman says, "I can set out in the morning to walk the perimeter, and I won't get back till it's dark."
The cousin says "I start out in the morning to DRIVE round my ranch, and I don't get back till midnight."
"Aye" says the paddy. "I used to have a car like that, too."


What's black and blue and floats in the Irish Sea?
The last Englisnman to tell an Irish joke in my local.