I love occult humour.
(Hope you guys have Old English font, cause I forget where I got it from...)

Someone posted to alt.religion.witchcraft, and literally asked "for a curse"
and so Stranadonna sure gave them one...

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Standarde Curse (for offending parties)

Gather together one candle of each colour--every colour ye can find; the wider the spectrum (and the more individual hues) , the stronger the curse.
Procure four stycks of dragon's bloode incense and four white candles as well. Since this spelle beares moste on the aire element, it is required that a long robe or skirt be worne, at least during the casting of your circle.

Arranging your candles so that they are dissonant wythe their neighbours (blue by orange, red by green, pastels by vibrants, etc.) cast your circle (with a diameter of 5 feet), placing the candles as you walk widdershins.
Walk once more arounde your circle, lighting your candles (from one to the next, once the first has beene lit). Next, calle your quarters and, as you calle each, place and light a white candle and a stick of incense, making an inner circle of white candles wythe the incense wythyn it, all pointing toward the center (the ends of the stycks should meet). Spend somme extra tyme with the aire quarter, as it is moste vital in this spelle.

Now is the tyme to builde your energie and sennde your intentions through the aire to the offending partie. Walking widdershins betweene your circles of candles, feel the aire element being awakened by your movements, with your long robe, skirt, or cloake. Hold not their ample folds; let them capture and release the aire as they will. As you feele your energy builde, concentrate on your intention and walke faster in your circle.

Before the energie is released, as ye walke rapidly, meditate on the law of three and of any way your actions, if harmful, may finde of coming back to you threefolde.

It is recommended thatte a chalice of watyr be kepte nearbye in case of collaboration betweene the fyre elemente and the law of three.

* * *

An alternative to the Standarde Curse (for offending parties):

Look the offending partie in his or her eyes.

Mutter, "damn."

Turne awaye and quitte the roome.

* * *
--Stranadonna the smarte asse.

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Provided to Mudcatters by hesperis, seeker of the strange and wonderful...