I feel as if a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. This appeared in Saturday's paper. Such a relief to know that Dave is surrounded by loving families and friends. Thank you again to those of you who understood.

Maine Voices: Father of man who set himself on fire tells family's story
Some reactions to the event made assumptions that were both cruel and far off the mark.
By DAVID J. PARKER Special to the Press Herald



PORTLAND - As the father of the young man who set himself on fire at Longfellow Square, I am writing to thank all the people who rushed to his aid.



ABOUT THE AUTHOR

David J. Parker
is a resident of Portland.




Although I can't do it right now, I hope to thank each of you in person some day.

I also thank God that nobody else was seriously hurt. I am hoping that what I have to say will help those people who were witnesses to this horrific event.

I read the blog postings that followed Bill Nemitz's column.

There I saw comments like, "Where was this man's family?" and "That's what happens when you cut spending on mental health" and "If only he had found Jesus."

So I have to ask, do you honestly think that a loving family can prevent mental illness?

Do you think that an increase in state funding would have forced my son to take medication?

Do you think that Christians never get sick?

I want people to know that with regard to kinship, Dave was surrounded by a loving immediate and extended family that knew he was troubled and was working constantly to get him help.

With regard to social services, he was receiving psychiatric care from the good people at The Help Center at Spurwink.

Finally, with regard to Jesus, our Lord said that He was here to minister to the sick -- not the healthy.

The people at Stroudwater Baptist Church lived those very words by welcoming Dave into their family and embracing him despite his problems.

There are some who think that Dave was a poor soul who was kicked out of his home and lived alone.

Please know that the apartment that he was in was carefully chosen with input from his psychiatrist and set up to be as stress-free as possible.

It was not just any building, but one that was owned by his cousin who lives just upstairs and was watching out for him. And in the building next door there lives another cousin who was also keeping an eye on him.

Imagine this: You are having lunch at Longfellow Square and across the street, a man explodes into a ball of flames and you rush to join others in an attempt to put out the fire.

When it is finally extinguished, you are able to see that the face of the man is miraculously untouched, but you know at a glance it is your own cousin.

That was reality for our cousin Andrew Doukas. So when someone asks, "Where was the family?" we can proudly say that our family was there when the flames burned the hottest. And when someone asks, "Why don't people care?" we can point to the many people who put their own well-being at risk to help a complete stranger.

When something like this happens, people want to find someone or something to blame. They typically blame the family.

If they can't blame the family, they point to society.

If they can't fault society, they try to blame God.

Well, I am a Christian and I will not pretend that I know God's will.

But this I believe.

I believe that God placed Dave into our family because He knew that we would love him no matter what throughout the difficult times leading up to this tragedy.

He knows we are by his side now during this time of excruciating pain. And if Dave lives, He knows we will be there for the many years of rehabilitation that lie ahead.

As the head of that family, I am proud to be entrusted with this charge.

If my mission in life is to love and care for someone who is deeply troubled, then it is the greatest blessing I could ask for.