OK, BG, let's play "Can You Top This"

Ma, a lady who lived in the hills was feeling poorly. Pa opined as how she ought to go to the flatland doctor to see if he could help her. So she betook herself on the trek down the mountain to the city doctor. When she came home Pa asked her what the doctor had said. Ma replied that he told her to come back next week with a urine sample. "Pa," she asked, "what the heck is a yoo-rine sample?" Dang if I know," replied Pa, "but the widow lay in the holler went to school to the fourth grade, so I bet she likely can tell you.

The next morning Ma trudged down to the widow woman. When she returned late in the day, she was scratched and bruised, and her clothes were torn. "Ma, ma, what happened to ya," enquired her concerned husband. "Well, Pa," she answered," I went to see that old woman to ask her what a yoo-rine sample is. The old biddy told me to pee in a bottle…so I told her to go shit in the crick…and then we really got into it."