"Buying Hats"

My wife Carol and I were visiting her 95-year-old
grandfather when he asked us to take him to buy
a new hat.

Carol took me aside. "I'm worried that he doesn't
have enough money, and he'll be very embarrassed,"
she said. So I asked the salesperson to tell my wife's
grandfather that whichever hat he chose cost $15.
I would pay the difference.

Grandpa picked out a $60 hat and was charged $15.
After he left, I paid the other $45.

Later he said, "What a bargain! The last one I bought
there cost me $60."


--------


"Age"

An older lady is making her first visit to her new
doctor's office. Before seeing the doctor she is
required to fill out forms. A nurse in the office
offers to help her do this. The nurse starts by asking,
"How old are you, Mrs. Silver?"

"None of your business," she responds.

The nurse then says, "But the doctor must know
your age for his records."

Mrs. Silver replies, "Okay. Well, first, multiply twenty
by two, then add ten. Got that?"

"Yes. Fifty." answers the nurse.

"All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do
you get?"

The nurse says, "Zero."

Mrs. Silver responds, "Right! And that's exactly the
chance of me telling you my age."