I've been trying to find the correct version of "Pete & Lil" as mine is pretty bastardized. Seems there is a common thread. Here is mine:

Well let me tell you partner
That's no shit upon the seat
I just got back from the yukon
And the mud aint off my feet

Well I bet you nerver heard about the mangey whore name lil'
Well Lil was a schoolmarm before whe came west
But she gave up schoolin cuz she liked fuckin best

When Lil fucked, she fucked for keeps
And piled her victims up in heaps

Then over the hill from drag-arse creek
Came a sawed off bastard name of penis pete.

Well the contest was to take place between Pete and Lil
Behind the shit house on Duggans hill.

Well that whore was on to lots of stunts
and tricks not known to common cunts

But that half breed was on to every trick
And kept on reeling out more prick

Then through the portal of her ass
Nine feet of slimey penis passed

Then the victor he arose
And nailed her drawers to the shit house door...
In memory of that mangey whore Lil.