Given the author involved, I almost changed the main characters to "Franny and Zoey...."

- Trapper

MILLION BUCK JOHNNY
Tune: Frankie and Johnny
New Words: Trapper (Al Boyce)

Frankie and Johnny were frantic
Oh Lordy, Where could they go?
Eight hours trapped in a Greyhound bus
And their bladders were set to blow
Where was the can? They couldn't wait very long...


The Greyhound pulled in to the station
Their seats were stuck way in the back
They twitched and jerked as they waited
For their turn in the depot shack
They needed the can - already waited too long....


The Men's room read "John out of order"
The Women's said "Under Repair"
Where could this desperate couple go
To find a toilet chair?
They searched for a can - soon it would be too long...


Frankie turned left out the doorway
Johnny he hung a sharp right
Frankie ran into the jewelry store
A museum was in Johnny's sights
They prayed for a can - they wouldn't need it too long...


Frankie ran past silver bracelets
She sprinted past fine diamond rings
A 24 carat golden stool
Was in the center of the thing
She'd found her can - now it would not be long!


John found the museum packed with people
They parted, what did Johnny see?
JD Salinger's porcelain pot
He ran, and prepared to pee!
It was his can, for however how long.


Frankie and Johnny reboarded
Both grateful for their good luck
For each of them found a place to go
That felt like a million bucks!
A million per can - that's the end of my song!