From the Bodleian Library broadside collection, Johnson Ballads 18 between 1828 and 1829:


THE FEMALE HUSBAND.

1. If you want to hear a bit of fun, oh, listen unto me,
About a female husband, the like you never see.
Such a singular thing you never knew, no not in all your life,
As two females to be wed and live as man and wife.

CHORUS: So young women all, a warning take, and mark what I do say:
Before you wed, your husbands try, or else you'll rue the day.

2. The female husband lived in service as a groom.
'Twas there that she got wed to the housemaid in her bloom.
At Camberwell, the truth I tell, the wedding was, it's true.
To hear about the wedding night you'll laugh till all is blue.

3. The parties they were shown to bed. The bride, sir, thought of that,
But the bridegroom he was taken ill, made everything look flat.
From his bride he turn'd and twisted. Then she to herself did say:
"My husband is a hermaphrodite, a wager I would lay."

4. Time passed on for many years. A virgin she was still,
But her husband would for jealousy oft use her very ill.
At Dockhead, it was asserted, you may believe now what I say,
By her husband it was thought she was in the family way.

5. But when she turn'd herself in bed, "Dear Jemmy," she would say,
"We have been married many years. Remember this, I pray."
But what a disappointment, now, when she thought of that,
But what she never got, why, it could not make her fat.

6. Some time he was a publican and dwelt in Baldock town,
With good ale and beer his customers he did supply around.
Then to the docks he went to work, as we had often heard,
Where the men would often joke about his whiskers and his beard.

7. Sometime he was a sawyer, done his duty like a man.
'Twas there his days were ended, as you shall understand.
There was not one as we could hear did of his manhood doubt,
But now it's o'er, he is no more, and the secret is found out.

8. Now for twenty years they lived as man and wife so clever.
Both eat and drank and slept, and just these things together.
If women all could do the same and keep their virgin knot,
Why, the king and all his subjects would quickly go to pot.

9. So now my song is ended. I hope it's pleased you all.
This poor woman had a husband that had nothing at all.
Twenty years she lived a married life. Still a maid she may remain,
But we trust she'll find a difference if she ever weds again.

[LAST CHORUS?] So I do advise young women all to look before you wed,
For if you should be so deceived, you will rue your marriage bed.

Printed by T. Birt, No. 10, Great St. Andrew-Street, Seven Dials [London]