A friend of mine has a large steam loco thrashing away from a station as his ringtone. This, as can be imagined, causes chaos when he's at his part time job driving old dears to Chelsea Flower Show etc. "What's that noise Mildred?"

Mind you he got his comeuppance. It went off at Royal Ascot while he was attempting to shepherd 20 very refreshed Barbara Windsors onto his coach! They didn't half take the p*ss.....