My mother had a visit about ten years ago by a "Gas engineer" who had to check out a supposed leak.

When she told him to shove off and tried to close the front door, he stuck his foot in it.

She reached out to the top of the gas meter cupboard, and picked up the old Victorian flat iron, which she used as a doorstop when gardening.

She held it up about five feet in the air in the gap between door and jamb.

He said "You wouldn't dare!"

Next there was a thud, a scream of pure agony, and a diminishing string of swear words, as he hopped back to his car some fifty yards away, falling over twice en route and doing even more damage to his battered person.

I watched all of this from the living room doorway, and didn't stop laughing for several hours.

I have that flat iron now, and it lives on the meter cupboard just inside my front door, and I know exactly what to do with it.

Thanks Mum!

Don T.