"George And The Dragon"

A tramp who had tramped many miles along a
rough outback track came to a small pub named
'George and the Dragon' and made his way around
the back in search of a handout.

Before he had time to ask, the publican's wife came
on the scene and gave the tramp the greatest
verbal thrashing of his life. She called him a lazy
good-for-nothing loafer and added if he was hoping
to get even a crust of bread he could forget it.

The tramp heard her out in silence, then just stood
there.

"Well," she snapped, "now what is it you want?"

"I was wondering," said the man, "if I could have
a word with George?"


--------


"Pirate's Injuries"

A pirate walks off his ship. He has a wooden leg, a hook
for a hand, and a patch over his right eye. He sits down
on a bench, and begins throwing peanuts to the seagulls.

Two curious young children shyly sit down next to him and
ask the pirate how he came to have a wooden leg.

The pirate replies, "Well, I was standing on the deck of me
ship one day, and a wave washed me overboard. Then,
a hungry shark attacked me and bit me leg off."

The little boy then asks, "How did you lose your hand?"

"Many years ago, I was fighting the Navy, and one of them
boys cut me hand off. Me doc couldn't find a hand, so he
gave me this hook."

Next, the little girl asks, "How did you lose your eye?"

"Well, I was standing watch up in the crow's nest, and just
as I looked up, a lousy seagull flew over and did his business
right in me eye."

The children, now thoroughly confused, ask, "How did that
cause you to lose your eye?"

The pirate explains, "Well, it was me first day with the hook..."