The following was transcribed from John Connolly's excellent CD of the same name. This is the polite version. The last track on the CD is rather ruder. I suggest you buy the CD to get those words.


The Grumpy Old Men of Old England
John Connolly and Bill Meek

Oh, we've come here tonight for to grouse and to groan
We're senile delinquents outcast and alone
And what we like best is a bloody good moan
We're the grumpy old men of old England
And we're glad to be grumpy old men

Oh, we've played the 'Wild Rover' as years tumbled by
We've chased all the women and made the sparks fly
We still chase 'em now but we can't recall why
We're the . . .

Now we don't like loud music, iPod or CD
Hip-hop or house, and between you and me
We reckon that rap should be spelt with a 'c'
We're the . . .

Now we don't do IT and we don't go on-line
'Cos internet access can make you go blind
Does broadband mean trousers with waist 49
For those . . .

Now whether you like it or whether you'll not
Soon digital TV will be what you've got
There's a two digit signal that we like a lot
We're the . . .

Now we used to be hippies, long hair and no tie
We'd smoke wacky baccy and gaze at the sky
Now the old Stanner stair-lift is how we get high
We're the . . .

24 hour drinking and round the clock beer
Now our poor old bladder won't take it I fear
24 hour peeing is already her
For the . . .

Our cholesterol's high, our testosterone's low
So off to the doctor's we grumpily go
How they check our prostate you don't want to know
We're the . . .

So the tele's all crap and the weather is worse
We sit by the fire and chunter and curse
Can't even be bothered to finish this verse