The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #133249 Message #3021775
Posted By: Trapper
02-Nov-10 - 01:37 PM
Thread Name: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 12
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 12
Georgian - KFC or McDonald's, what's a franchise name between friends!! Very clever!
Matthew - you should produce your song and air it as a music video on MTV as a public service announcement for the kids these days! I loved the rhyming disclaimer too!
Sorry, I couldn't think of a kiddie tune to parody - but here's my entry.
McDonald's must have hired the most lame law firm in the entire country of Brazil! Below is a court transcript of how the defense attorney SHOULD HAVE handled it - it's a simple case of mathematics! (I took slight liberties with the city where the McDonald's franchise was located.)
GRILL FROM IPANEMA
Tune: Girl From Ipanema - Antonio Carlos Jobim/Norman Gimbel
New Lyrics: Trapper (Al Boyce)
May I approach the bench, your honor
I have a few statistics to show you
And when I show you, I know you'll surely go... ahhhh!
When my client hired the plaintiff
He was so tall and young and slender
When he passed his counter the girls in front would go... ahhh!
Oh, they watched him grow, so sadly
How could they tell him to walk more?
Yes, he'd eat McDonald's gladly
He tasted the way he was trained, and
One quarter ounce a day gained
In the twelve years he had worked there
If my mathematics you'll follow
The plaintiff claims he gained sixty-five pounds
Sixty-five divided by 12 years
Is annually just a bit more than five pounds
Or daily, just about one quarter ounce
Consulting any manual of weight loss
Shows ca-lor-ies of 3500
Burns off very close to one pound of fat
The plaintiff only had a quarter ounce
Of extra fat per day he had to lose
A thirteen minute walk would take care of that
So Judge Filho I would ask you to
Drop this suit against McDonalds and
Tell this overweight loser to go take a hike!
In the city of Ipanema
There's roads and trails and hills and beaches
Surely some exercise the plaintiff would like!