THE BARMAID I MET IN KINSALE
(John Duggan)

I have sung many songs about rights and of wrongs
Of love and of glory as well
I have sung of the heroes of days that are gone
And of martyrs who fought and who fell
But I'll sing you one more for me hearts feeling sore
And I'll hope you'll endure this sad tale
How I live to repent the one night that I spent
With the barmaid I met in Kinsale

CHORUS:
If you yearn for a wife to enamour your life
And you don't want to flounder or fail
Just be careful auld chap or you may meet a rap
Like the barmaid I met in Kinsale

An auld man at the bar was enjoying a jar
When he told me she came from the West
How her manner was rude and her figure was crude
And her language was never the best
But her father had land and t'was known that he planned
To leave her the lot without fail
So now you see why I decided to try
For the barmaid I met in Kinsale

She was ugly and fat and as blind as a bat
She had glasses like slivers of ice
When I looked in her eyes to me pleasant surprise
I was thrilled I could see meself twice
Now her hair it was black and it grew down her back
T'wud be nicer by far on her head
Well I tipped her a wink and sure what do you think
Well she stood me a whiskey and red

After drinking a score I leapt out on the floor
And invited the barmaid to jive
When I stood on her toe well she hit me a blow
I was lucky to still be alive
Then she sent for the Gards and me only reward
Was the spend the whole night in a jail
Which killed any chance of a lasting romance
With the barmaid I met in Kinsale