Tommy Steele's recording of I PUTS THE LIGHTIE ON is on 2 albums: "The Decca Years" (1999), and "Singing the Blues" (2009).

It's also on YouTube. from which I transcribed this:


I PUTS THE LIGHTIE ON
Sung by Tommy Steele

1. Man, I couldn't get to sleep the other night.
I was tossin' an' a-turnin' in my bed.
I remembered that I hadn't had a bite,
So my tummy rumbled up to me and said:
"Grab a sandwich, from the fridge,
In the kitchen, downstairs."

2. I decided it was quite a good idea,
So I tottered to the kitchen half asleep.
When I opened up the fridge, a light appeared,
So I opened up an eye and took a peep,
And do you know what I saw
In the kitchen, downstairs?

CHORUS: There's a little man in the fridge
Livin' with the ham and the butter.
He just has to stand in the fridge,
Wait until you open a shutter,
Funny little man with a nightie on.
When I asked him what he did,
He said, "I put the lightie on."

3. Well, I tell you this was really some surprise.
What an interesting thing to think upon!
There must be twenty million other little guys
Turning twenty million little lighties on,
Like the fellow, in the fridge,
In the kitchen, downstairs.

4. Well, he spoke to me and he was very wild.
Said, "You woke me in the middle of a dream."
And I felt just like a misbehaving child
When he told me, "I'm so angry I could scream.
Put the lightie, on yourself,
In the kitchen, downstairs."

CHORUS: Said the little man....

5. In the morning when I finally awoke,
I decided that I should apologize,
But I'm really very sorry that I spoke
'Cause apart from all the eggs and apple pies,
There was nothin' in the fridge
In the kitchen, downstairs.

6. People tell me that I must be going mad,
Or they say I must be having crazy dreams,
Others have a lot of pity on the lad,
But I'm sure it ain't as crazy as it seems,
But there's something turns the light on
In the kitchen downstairs.

CHORUS: There's a little man....

"And as far as I'm concerned, you can ... [the voice accelerates into gibberish.]