Never you fear, my impatient friend, your Santa's already hard at work planning the perfect punnishment for the bad boy my elves are sure you've been, Christmas Chronicles notwithstanding. Are you really as full of mischief as they report, or are they off the mark as usual? It's hard to get good elves these days, and I'm never quite sure about their tales...

If it's any consolation, Santa hasn't heard from Santa's Santa either. Santa is most distraught. Someone else's elves may be even less reliable than Santa's own. Oh, dear! Must run -- I hear a dust-up in the workshop...which is what happens when Mrs. Santa forgets to use the decaffeinated cocoa in the hot chocolate. Oh dear. I do hope your gift hasn't gotten smashed in the melee. But never fear, I'll find you something.

Your very own
Santa